J.B. Sommerset

I was making some "bomb-ass" steaks on the grill this weekend and I let the T.V. decide what it wanted to show. It's one of those "smart TVs", so it had a good idea of what I like, you know, from all that spying on me. While I was preparing the marinade it started playing something sentimental from my past- because apparently my TV knows me in that way. You know, intimately. Like it watched you grow up, I tell you, these algorithms are out of control. But nonetheless it knew that I wanted some good old 80s nostalgia.   So I am tenderizing the steaks and in the back ground I hear something I haven't heard in far to long. That sound was the sound of a prison escape, followed by and ORV chase on a beach in Oregon, with the police, and the sounds of 7 kids just loving the 80's even though they are about to be kicked out of their homes by the "cheap guy" Troy and his douche bag father. Some of you Gen-Xers know what I am talking about. Some of you k...

That's right, I started " House Of The Dragon " season 2. Let's talk about it, like hard, real hard because it does a whole lot right, especially in todays world where screenwriters and showrunners have completely forgotten how to write a good story and then translate it to the screen. Most modern renditions of my favorite childhood stories are so bad that when I watch them I can smell the sour grape and watermelon vape fumes of the douche-people who wrote them. Because that's the kind of image modern literature and film puts in my head. A douchey one with a whole lot of vape-fumes. What an image, it I could describe it, it would look like this: It's this image of an androgynes guy sitting outside the Star-bucks. He's got whispers of chin hair on his prepubescent jawline, and poorly applied black nail polish on his hands. There's an uncentered man-bun on his head, a snake of ratty coils, unwashed hair that smells of pot smoke. Leaning on his tiny littl...

Every once in a while I see a preview that strikes my science-fiction bone and makes it feel all warm and tingly. There are a couple of things that can do this to me, the first is a story's premise, the second is execution. Sadly, this week I was very, very disappointed. This week I am reviewing that thing we all saw on Netflix, " Atlas ". We all saw it because Netflix put it front and center. It looked okay in the previews, but in our hearts we knew... We knew it was going to suck. We watched it, to be sure, and yup, we were very disappointed.  That's right, I said "Atlas". I watched it so you don't have to. No, really, I mean it. Don't watch this movie if you love science fiction and your health, this will only hurt you in places you can't recover from, like in that tiny sliver of hope, way, way, down in the bottom of your heart.  If you want a really good story about A.I., giant robots, cool gadgets, machine love, and the whole works, you shou...

Blame this one on Disney, they recently added the franchise to their lineup on Disney+, which means one thing to a guy like me: Marathon!  Let me clarify, I don't mean the old classics , and I don't mean the Mark Walberg / Tim Burton version (just threw up in my mouth a little). No I mean the modern remakes. That's right, this is a remake review. Something I almost never do, out of kindness. I usually only do them because I need to spit venom. Not this time, this time I have some praise to give. Most remakes are atrocious, poisoned with " the message " in attempts captivate new audiences, and make that sweet, sweet, cash-money! All the while betraying the original story and plot to bring something "relatable" to a new audience. In the process, the work loses it's context, it's believability, and it's soul. The reality is that a good writer creates a relatable story, no matter the audience because they are writing with themes that all people...

As promised in my review of Rebel Moon part 1 , I return with a review of Rebel Moon part 2: The Scar giver . So, strap on them Imperium uniforms and prepare for this Space-Viking-cowboy-Nazi-science fiction space opera.  This is the second part, and the thrilling conclusion of Rebel Moon... Wait, what's that, it made too much money, there's going to be a third? Maybe? We don't know yet... um okay. We'll just move forward with this review and cross that bridge when the enemy comes to shoot us all to crap. By now, you might have heard, or at the very least surmised there would be more rebel moons out soon, 4 more if old Zach has anything to do with it. However, I am not so sure the next one, Rebel Moon 3 has been greenlit. There are rumors it has, and also that it will start filming in 2025. If they make it, I will review it. For now, let just focus on Part 2. Don't want to get caught up in the assumption game and get taken out of context. I liked the first one, and...